I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Description

The phenomenal international bestseller and the definitive BookTok sensation that took the world by storm! From South Korean author Baek Sehee and beautifully translated by Anton Hur, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a raw, deeply intimate, and beautifully comforting memoir. Serving as a foundational masterpiece of modern Korean “healing literature,” this unputdownable book offers a mirror to the quiet struggles of everyday life, exploring the delicate balance between profound sadness and the simple, grounding joys that keep us going.

Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a major publishing house when she decides to finally start seeing a professional psychiatrist about her complex emotional state. What exactly should she call it? Is it true depression? On the surface, she seems to have it all together, but internally she feels persistently low, highly anxious, and endlessly self-doubting, while simultaneously being intensely judgmental of those around her. She hides these dark feelings exceptionally well at work and with friends, becoming incredibly adept at performing the perfect veneer of calmness and ease that her modern urban lifestyle demands. However, the constant effort is completely exhausting and overwhelming, locking her inside a lonely shell and keeping her from forming deep, authentic relationships.

She finds herself constantly wondering: This can’t possibly be normal, right? But if she is truly as hopeless and broken as she feels, why is it that she can always effortlessly summon a strong yen for her absolute favorite street food, the hot, spicy Korean rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this strange, conflicting duality just what life is supposed to be like? By meticulously recording her vulnerable dialogues with her psychiatrist over a transformative 12-week period, Baek begins to slowly disentangle the toxic feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful coping mechanisms that keep her locked in a painful cycle of self-abuse.

Masterfully executing the memoir, mental health, personal growth, psychology, and self-care genres, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki delivers a beautifully structured, atmospheric, and deeply therapeutic reading experience. Written with a striking, relatable simplicity, it provides a powerful, comforting blueprint for anyone dealing with dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder), high-performance anxiety, or the universal search for self-acceptance.